Ongoing trends

I shall thoroughly update this blog later when i have more time. For now, I need to note down random emerging trends that seem to leave me very perplexed -scratches head in confusion-

Certain couples I know have broken up/ ended their relationships. The most perplexing thing is it happens one after another. In fact, my reaction itself shocked me. I was shocked, yes. But it was more of a 'shocked-because-these-things-are-happening-concurrently' feeling rather than a 'shocked-about-the-sudden-breakup' feeling. Do you get me?

I assume my perceptions have given me some understanding on Rship trends. Which is why I am no longer shocked.

New couples (just like newly weds) get so hyped up during their first few months together to the extent that calling/smsing 24/7 IS NECESSARY! Cuddling/canoodling/touching/ 'babyness'/ whatever P.D.As, you name it.. becomes a hobby whenever they get together. In short, they are filled with passion. But, many of you would know that this passion can wear out if couples are not careful in maintain it. And thats where things can go wrong. Misunderstandings/ insecurity/ possesiveness overtakes the ride in the rship. I used to dread this 2nd stage where the passion runs out because it drains your energy.. Really! But as I mature, I realized that this stage could either break you or mould you. This stage can bring couples much closer than before..that is IF both chooses to allow this phase to mould them. Look on the bright side, this is the stage that unmasks your 'other half's' real personality. Wouldn't you prefer seeing the true side of your partner NOW rather than being 'conned' into marrying someone who has been facade-ing all this while? But as many of my friends put it; it is easier said than done. If both sides feel they cannot kow-tow to each others' viewpoints, then it is best to withdraw now.

And that..can break you.

Many couples tend to drag this stage thinking that it is possible to work things out as time passes. They'd rather stick to one another because of the years together as a couple. Yes, dragging it can work but not all the time.

That can break you too.

In the end, it is best to let go and know what YOU want in an rship. Self justification helps if you change your mindset, which can change your desires. But if you are only justifying the existence of an Rship yet still have desires that don't match your Rship expectations, you are only fooling yourself. Many books, counsellors, and those filled with experiences give the same advice; Get out while you can. Do not fool yourself. But can WE fulfill that??

Hence, some prefer flings rather than rships. That's another ongoing trend i've noticed recently. Flings and flirts. They are harmless and fun. No commitments needed. No strings attached. No make-or-break 2nd stage. You can date as many as you like. Be happy. Get kissed. But, some of those I knw cannot stomach this form of friendship though they think they can. They get 'sucked' into this trap that can BREAK YOU and worse still, make you go through a series of 2nd stages ALONE (supposing your 'partner' is a real flirt). If you are on the brink of agreeing to a fling/friends with benefits friendship, it is best to think twice/3 times/ a dozen times about it. Sure flings are fun and addictive. But they are short-term (most of the time) and it comes with a hefty emotional price.

We are nothing more than emotional/sentimental human beings. It is very (times 100) difficult to let go and more so read our OWN emotions. See..that on the not-so-bright side ay.

P/s: No, I was not one of those who recently went through a breakup. I merely played the role of an observer/listener/counsellor/ and friend :-)

-Big hugs to those going through a breakup-